So it’s Thursday and I thought to throwback to a period that reminds me of a short story from which I once learned a great lesson.
It’s about an Italian family who migrated to Australia. Their new neighbors organized a barbeque in the park and asked them to ‘bring a plate’. The new migrants literally took a plate to the social gathering, not realizing that they were actually meant to take some food along, to contribute to the party. They left the party immediately, feeling rather embarrassed and perhaps, humiliated.
Obviously, the local Australians’ goodwill had been completely erased by that little ‘misunderstanding’ which resulted from a simple assumption. From the speaker’s perspective, no one thought to clarify when the invitation was issued – it had been all so obvious – and on the listener’s part, no one thought to ask for an explanation because the words, at their literal value, were clear even though they felt it was a strange request.
There is never a point claiming to know when you don’t, or that you do understand when you actually do not. Likewise, it is unwise to think people know something unless you have told them… To think people know how you feel or what you are going through, is nothing different from expecting a bull to not attack you because you are a vegetarian. And even if you once informed them, they sure are allowed to forget. After all, we are all humans with our individual headaches. So, why take things personally!
A wise man once said: “Assumption is the least level of knowledge”. Assumption is dangerous! It can break an age-long relationship or even marriage. It has robbed promising talents of their golden opportunities. Assumption steals people’s joy and happiness. It does more harm than good. That is why it is always better to err on the side of caution, risk appearing foolish and clarify/ask for clarification, rather than subsequently making mistakes which may offend.
It takes only a second to hurt and a lifetime to heal the wound. So, never assume! Ask questions… when clarification is needed. It doesn’t reduce you, rather, it makes you know better. There is no such person as a lover of peace who is not addicted to asking questions. If we indeed want peace in our increasingly divided world, we must first be the peace. And this begins with asking questions!
PS: You sure know something I don’t! So, kindly share your thoughts on the danger of assumption in the comment section.